Stomacracy!

“Plenty sits still, hunger is a wanderer!” The Zulus of South Africa were a wise lot apparently, given the punch they’ve packed in the simple yet powerful quote in the preceding line.

Indeed, the quote seems to hold true for X these days. As the handful of people who know him would agree, his appearances are in no way suggestive of his ever increasing appetite. Till a few months ago, X was as thin as a stick, had hairy hands and bent shoulders. And he used to just nibble at the food on his plate. We could vouch for rats to be better players at the game! Came June, and what gripped him was the fever that has caught the fancy of the young brigade en masse’ these days. He started attending the local gymnasium, as he says, to ‘stay fit and healthy’. Really, wasn’t his move suspiciously suggestive of his desire to bulk up and get a sculpted body in the meantime?

Cut to the present, and X’s got a figure not-too-bad. He could do better with a more regular workout. But this in itself has brought about a sea change in his desire to eat. His breakfast spread reminds you of the imperial one at the manor. And his time at the table runs long enough for the first morsel he took to have already gone halfway in the digestion process. That’s not all. Psychology happens to guide his ever growing hunger pangs. The advice of his psyche would read something to the following effect; “Hey, don’t you forget that you are gymming, son! Think about all the calories you burn, and how much more you need to be taking in. Have you been able to go beyond the 12 pound barbell? It wouldn’t be a surprise if you start losing weight instead of gaining!” Sounding as it does, like a warning from the skies, X goes about with single minded dedication in laying his hands on anything edible, till he’s stuffed to the neck! With the belly fully fed, he sets on his way to work on a cab ride that serves to aid quicker digestion of his morning’s intake. No sooner is he done with the greetings and other niceties before starting work for the day, than he realizes it’s lunch time. Strictly speaking, his hunger hasn’t returned yet, but it’s all in the mind you see! His colleagues are satisfying their hunger, and he thinks he should follow suit as well. But at the table, his way of consumption is a sight to behold! X takes in the stuff in a way which would amaze the most aloof of cattle. And his expressions would be akin to that of womenfolk during their defining moment!

With a fully loaded pack below his chest and not an iota of space left for anymore, our friend slogs through the afternoon. His instincts tell him to skip the snack early in the evening when others go, for fear of a ruptured stomach. He isn’t a binge eater anyway, is he? The status quo is short lived it appears. There’s an hour left for the end of day, but X is back to hungry ways! When he returns home, all that his folks can read on his face is hunger. Hell, he could eat a horse, his expression says! Well, he’s given a fair quantity and certainly not the steed from the stables! He’s done with ‘dinner’ as his folks would have him believe. But there’s more to come, as the satisfied half moon is yet to grow between his years! Very soon everyone’s called it a day, and X tiptoe to the kitchen and checks to see if there’s anything stomach-worthy in the cool confines of the refrigerator!
If we’ve observed, there’s been a slow but sure transfer of power. Hunger indeed has taken over the mind!

-Met

Limericks - Twisted to Convenience

Limericks are basically five-line poems originally from Ireland of the 18th century. While experts maintained that a true limerick, as a folk form is always obscene, there have been varied versions of this amusing form of literature. Also, apart from violation of taboo, limericks haven't really stuck to the standard five-line rule!

Following are a couple of my attempts at presenting a newer style of limericks. They come with an underlying theme, and not necessarily obscene, though folks can have them in good measure too!

-Met

"Book the ticket', said his pal, "book the ticket!"
Else, he feared, she would ceate a racket
Try as much he did, no ticket was on the book,
and all his pal did was cock a snook!
Alone, he started on Holmes, and found a new pal in the book!

-Solitude begets new friends, at times!


Sexy was Suzy, so bloody that none would get lazy
while on bed with Suzy!
Too hot to handle was she, with one hell of a puzzy.
The morning after, he realized that life was all but easy!

-Lust always doesn't do just!

No Divine Talk

Divinity is something humans love to behold, and not without reason. The very fact that there are things that make us realize their greatness in form and effect, and our own magnitude when juxtaposed with them, is reason enough to strike awe in us in general. While the majestic Himalayas leaves us humbled, the Sahara with its expanse has us breathless, and the Diamond makes us pale into insignificance. Here’s assuming the reader agrees that the earth forms mentioned above are inherently divine indeed.

In most of the old civilizations, including India’s, everything godly is considered divine. Rather, divinity is but synonymous with sacred things. This concept has defied ages and generations. And this is where one can experience the surge of all humanity to behold icons of religious legends. So much so that, faith gradually morphs into fervor, and people do whatever it takes to add in to the numbers. The author got more than a feeler of this phenomenon the past weekend, when he visited Tirumala and Tirupathi shrines, to get a glimpse of Lord Srinivasa who is the residing deity there. The Tirumala temple is situated on the top of the Seshachala Mountain, which is a culmination of Seven great hills. That this is the place where the Lord descended and set up his abode is stuff that beats every legend around. It’s no wonder then that the place is referred to as BhooVaikuntha or roughly, Heaven on Earth. Multitudes of people undertake an arduous climb up the hills; wait in serpentine queues for days together, chant Govinda! with gusto, all to get a glimpse of the bedecked Lord in peaceful poise. Not to forget the wads of currencies they drop in the Hundi as a token of gratitude and respect. He is said to be the boon-giver and a champion of peace & prosperity. There are people all over, in wait, in devotion, in hunger, in thirst, in tonsured heads, and in hope! Now this is what anyone would call the God rush*.

Oddly enough, though people did witness divine structures, ate divine food, read divine literature, there is a growing feeling that somewhere, men and women are making trips or paying visits quid pro quo. It is not essentially give and take, but more of promissory resolutions to keep in the instance of wishes coming true. While the statement by an anonymous author that ‘we have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties’ is not wholly justifiable here, a visit to a holy place could be worth all the while if there was more of marveling the nature, and the dazzling brilliance of the deity. And that’s where we feel that the thin line between religion and divinity is getting blurred. A bath in the Alakananda is sure to leave you numb and freezing, and you know you have met your match with nature. That’d make you say, “I bathed in the Holy waters”, and most probably warn others of extreme climatic conditions. But then, you’ve encountered divinity. The world probably hasn’t seen anything more perilous than a trip to the Moon. The folks who went up there saw it all. From a distance they could see Earth, in all its green and blue glory. But on the Moon, they saw death. Not a stone moved, not a whisper came! The silence was morbid. And that, as a creation of God, was divine. For it is a fact that human ascent always reaches new heights, but never really conquers nature! Divinity is something we only end up marveling at.

At the risk of sounding didactic, Nature is God’s creation. Stop. It’s not up for grabs, which is what blood-thirsty corporate are assuming. But it sure is lying there all to be discovered. And that doesn’t really need a divine intervention!

-Met

*New coinage. Not hitherto published